It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
