It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
