it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
