bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
