So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
