U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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