mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
