Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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