She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
