Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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