By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize