hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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