sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
