Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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