i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
