They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
