I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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