I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
