i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
