as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
