He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize