oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
