can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize