I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
