nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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