brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize