You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
