I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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