Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sext me about skeletons
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
