I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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