I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
