I want to stick my p in your. b.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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