I think I am morally bankrupt
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
