I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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