i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
