it wasn't lemon gatorade
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
