Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
