we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
