I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
