So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
