I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
