We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
