I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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