Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
