dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
