You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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