I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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