He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize