Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
false alarm, still single
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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