Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
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