I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
