Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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