he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
