I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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