Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize