Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
