He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
