I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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