I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
