Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
