i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
