I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
